19
Oct
08

HUAC, Lewey and Dumbass

Michele Bachmann, Congressprophet from Minnesota’s 6th congressional district which consists of the northern suburbs and exburbs, including St.Cloud (Motto: We’re All Family Here! No–Literally–We’re All Family Here. Thousands of Residents, Only 3 Last Names!) went on Hardball with Chris Matthews last Friday and made a complete ass of herself, suggesting that anyone who does not agree with her End of Days judgmental form of Christianity should be evaluated for anti-American views a la Senator Joseph McCarthy and his delightful House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC). Here’s the infamous clip:

However, this clip, while probably Mrs. Bachmann’s crowning achievement in ignorant pandering, does not give you the full flavor of her commitment to paranoid bigotry. To truly understand this woman, you need some background.  Bachmann (no relation to the highly esteemed gardening Bachman family) is a ‘lawyer’ who graduated from a now defunct Oral Roberts University satellite law school that lasted less than a decade (apparently not much call for Old Testament-style legal experts). Her husband, to whom she is “in subjection,” is a “pray away the gay” therapist in Minneapolis. Bachmann has introduced notoriously embarrassing legislation both in the Minnesota legislature and as a United States Congressbigot, including the infamous “Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act” (not kidding–it’s for real– maybe she should have taken on a more personally relevant issue and gone with the “Dim Bulb Freedom of Expression Act”).  Her pet project, though, is to disenfranchise and demonize gay people at every opportunity.  She is seriously terrified of the notorious gay agenda and has taken bold steps to alert the public to the gay menace, including hiding in the bushes spying on a gay rights rally in St. Paul (again, not kidding, she actually did this: http://www.eleventh-avenue-south.com/archives/000491.html).

In Bachmann’s America, the one that has God’s blessing, membership in an Evangelical “prosperity”  church is the best indicator of your patriotism and value to the creator.  I’m not entirely clear which Bible these folks are reading, however. I was raised in a fundamental home.  My parents apparently believe that the Flinstones was a documentary and that humans and dinosaurs roamed the earth together, a charming viewpoint captured best in song:

“Hey Sarah Palin, did you tell them in Wasilla
That 4,000 years ago we roamed the planet with Godzilla”

However, they also believed if you were gonna take the Bible literally, you had to take ALL of it literally, like Christ saying that God made no distinction among his children (racism and bigotry are sins), Christ refusing to be made king of Israel because his kingdom was “no part of this world” (religion and politics don’t mix) and Christ driving the money changers from the temple (materialism is an affront to true worship). They did not believe the Fruitages of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, self-control, etc.) were simply “suggestions,” but rather the bare minimum requirements for Christian behavior.  It is hard to imagine what Christ might think when he comes back (which will be in Sarah Palin’s lifetime, according to her) and has to navigate through a sea of SUV’s in the parking lot of a hundred acre ‘campus’ (because true piety requires oodles of square feet) of a megachurch, just to find a thriving giftshop and Starbucks in the the lobby.  Might I suggest, Mrs. Bachmann, that while others may have a splinter or mote in their eyes, you have a freakin’ rafter up your backside that should be of much more concern to you.

So the “Lewey” referenced in the title (a stretch for poetic effect, I admit. Get it, Huey, Lewey and Dewey? Get it?) was Congressman George Lewis of Georgia, a hero of the Civl Rights movement and outspoken critic of the McCain/Palin/Bachmann style of hate-mongering campaigns. In response to Bachmann’s freak out, the ever reasonable Mr. Pat Buchanan compared her insane ranting to the reasoned denunciation of Republican race-baiting offered by Mr. Lewis.  Typical of the comic stylings of Pat Buchanan, his logic was nearly impossible to capture–even if you’d have had a net–so I won’t even bother to post it. Something about the KKK being reformed or words to that effect. Suffice it to say that even Chris Matthews was not buying Pat’s schtick. He finally told him, “Be careful, Pat. Your old instincts are coming back.”  Hmmm..could he have been referring to this: http://www.realchange.org/buchanan.htm

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